Holy Fuckballs...my birthday is in a week. My twentieth birthday...two decades? Really? Sophomore year of college?
1 Year Ago-
September 1st 2010- I'm super anxious to begin college (this is when my insomnia began). I'm hyper aware of the fact that I move into my first dorm ever TOMORROW! I've known my roommate for years, she's the best, I feel comfortable leaving the house I've felt safe in for 10 years to live with her. I have no idea what I'm in for!
September 7th 2010- My birthday. I've made friends and I love college (little do I know I grow to dislike these initial "friends" I made) I've just found out my mom ordered me a cake for my special day! I invite everyone at college who i went to high school with, and the few new friends I've made. The cake is huge like my mothers heart. The company ends up to be just me, my roommate, and our mutual good friend from high school. Looking back it seems sad...but as I can remember I felt happy eating a huge cake with two people I knew truly cared.
Back to The Present-
This birthday I know I have many more friends to send me well wishes. I'm excited to see what we will do!
I also know how much I've grown. What strength I lack after the "freshman fifteen" I've made up for mentally. I realized true happiness came from being honest with myself, even if it hurt. I found what having a best friend means. I put my emotions aside to help my friends when they needed me, and learned to expose those emotions when I needed them. I learned love can be ridiculously painful, but that it doesn't have to be. That a smile can change a person's day. That I am not as stupid and ugly as I tell myself I am.
Although as rights-of-passage's go 20 is not a big deal, I grew up more during this year than I have in the last decade. I can only hope that this year will be a HAPPY continuation of self-revalations.
1 Year Ago-
September 1st 2010- I'm super anxious to begin college (this is when my insomnia began). I'm hyper aware of the fact that I move into my first dorm ever TOMORROW! I've known my roommate for years, she's the best, I feel comfortable leaving the house I've felt safe in for 10 years to live with her. I have no idea what I'm in for!
September 7th 2010- My birthday. I've made friends and I love college (little do I know I grow to dislike these initial "friends" I made) I've just found out my mom ordered me a cake for my special day! I invite everyone at college who i went to high school with, and the few new friends I've made. The cake is huge like my mothers heart. The company ends up to be just me, my roommate, and our mutual good friend from high school. Looking back it seems sad...but as I can remember I felt happy eating a huge cake with two people I knew truly cared.
Back to The Present-
This birthday I know I have many more friends to send me well wishes. I'm excited to see what we will do!
I also know how much I've grown. What strength I lack after the "freshman fifteen" I've made up for mentally. I realized true happiness came from being honest with myself, even if it hurt. I found what having a best friend means. I put my emotions aside to help my friends when they needed me, and learned to expose those emotions when I needed them. I learned love can be ridiculously painful, but that it doesn't have to be. That a smile can change a person's day. That I am not as stupid and ugly as I tell myself I am.
Although as rights-of-passage's go 20 is not a big deal, I grew up more during this year than I have in the last decade. I can only hope that this year will be a HAPPY continuation of self-revalations.
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